Phantom Limbs

Some people wondered afterward if anyone else had noticed.

It was an ordinary business meeting, held to review the progress of the organization, discuss the past year, look to the next. The crowd was a little smaller than usual.

The organization had had to raise its fees. This fact had become obvious before the downturn, and even when the economy went south and it became clear that raising them by so much, this year, might be difficult, it had to be done. It just couldn't be postponed any longer.

Everyone in the audience knew this. No one blamed the organization, even though some knew that people had left the organization as a result, people who had been around for years.

The man onstage spoke with pride of the percentage of the increase in
revenue achieved.

He stopped for a moment.

"Of course, we did lose some people," he said. A slight pause. "But they only wanted to be members if it was free or didn't cost much."

He went on to his next point.

Everyone tried to listen. This was important. But some found themselves drifting, just for a moment, to a conversation in the grocery store or at a gathering in town with someone who hadn't been around lately. And when they asked, the person had said, "Well, that letter--"

"I know," they had said, "We got it, too. But talk to them. They'll understand."

The other person said sure.

But really, who wants to talk about money? Who wants to say, "I just can't afford that. Not right now."

So they were gone. And the people in the auditorium tried not to think
about those conversations or the choices they themselves were making.
They tried instead to listen to the information about the successful operation
of the organization.

Other leaders went up on stage, said things, sat down. The meeting ended on schedule. Did anyone linger?

Some of them had talked, at times, about feeling the presence of the members who had died, almost seeing them when they looked at this or that person's favorite place to sit.

No one mentioned that this time, or an article one of them had read about how when you lose an arm or leg you still have the sensation that it's there. They call it a "phantom limb."

The former members must be like those phantom limbs, she thought, because she still felt connected to them.

The crowd thinned a little more as people walked quickly to their cars and home, so they could get ready for tomorrow.

©2009 Laynie Tzena.